Kiss a Kiss
by EvilFuzzy9
Summary: Where a series lends itself to fluff, this author writes smut! Where a series lends itself to smut, this author writes fluff! And where a series lends itself to BOTH... he writes whatever he pleases. [oneshots, crack, shipteasing]
1. A Slip o' the Frog's Tongue

**Kiss a Kiss  
**

A_ Kill la Kill _fluffshot (?) collection

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

Ira Gamagoori felt like his cheeks were on fire, as he waited outside the sliding door of the dilapidated shack that the Mankanshoku family called home. He was dressed in his Sunday best, his face a bright radioactive pink and his pupils looking about ready to unleash the Spiral Nemesis.

His stomach was doing all sorts of interesting things, the sizable man's guts twisting and contorting into a myriad of convoluted shapes and figures. He felt like an entire forest's worth of monarch butterflies was fluttering about within his abdominal cavity.

The twenty year old's hands twitched nervously behind his back, squeezing and bending the stems of the mixed bouquet he had purchased from a florist shop run by the family of the Gardening Club President. The toes of his shoes scuffed deep furrows into the compacted dirt of ground outside the Mankanshoku "Manor". Ira's already usually neat hair was somehow even neater, slicked back in a conservatively dweebish style, glistening with a copious amount of mousse and styling gel.

Nervously, anxiously, Gamagoori ran over the words in his head, sweat beading down his bronzed and furrowed brow.

_Greetings, Mankanshoku. I am here to request permission to take your daughter, Mako, on a date._

___Greetings, Mankanshoku. I am here to request permission to take your daughter, Mako, on a date._

_____Greetings, Mankanshoku. I am here to request permission to take your daughter, Mako, on a date._

Ira took a deep breath, steeling his nerves.

He knocked on the door.

Seconds of agonizingly tense anticipation passed.

The door opened.

Rotund back-alley doctor, Barazo Mankanshoku, stood on the threshold. The jovial, happy-go-lucky Mankanshoku patriarch was dressed in striped, blue and white pajamas. He was yawning and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Clearly the man had only just gotten up.

Not surprising, given the time. Very few people were usually up and about at the crack of dawn.

"Ehh?" said Barazo sleepily, putting on his glasses. "You're... one of my daughter's schoolmates. Gamagorilla, right?"

Gamagoori's anxiety reached its peak.

"Greetings!" the muscular blond belted out, nerves firing wildly. "I am here to transmit a request for your daughter's manko!"

Barazo blinked.

A moment passed.

The shoji sliding door promptly shut in Ira Gamagoori's face.

* * *

A/N: FINISHED WATCHING KILL LA KILL, YO.

BEAUTIFUL. EVERYTHING I'VE COME TO EXPECT FROM THOSE CRAZY WONDERFUL LUNATICS AT GAINAX.

(also iramako is an _adorable_ pairing)

**Updated: **3-30-14

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


	2. Masegaki to Pettanko

**Kiss a Kiss  
**

A_ Kill la Kill _fluffshot (?) collection

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

Mataro blushed as Nonon Jakuzure, the only female member of Honnouji Academy's Elite Four, passed him by in the halls of the Nudist Beach subterranean headquarters. Like most of the resistance members, the pinkette was basically all but nude, wearing nothing but a weapons belt over her pelvis and a scanty harness over her chest.

He averted his gaze from Nonon right at the point where the combination of his vantage point and her body's motion would have given him a clear view of _everything_.

The peppy, snarky orchestra-lover smirked.

"Look all you want, Slacker brother," she drawled smugly. "This is the closest you'll ever get to a beauty of MY caliber."

Mataro shot her a sidelong glower.

"Tch, as if," he scoffed. "I like my women with some actual _meat_ on their bones, if you know what I mean."

Nonon bopped him on the back of the head.

"Snot-nosed brat," she said, holding up a fist.

"Flat-chested bitch," Mataro muttered, rubbing the sore spot on his head.

The two of them continued on their way, in opposite directions.

* * *

A/N: It is simply _excruciating_ how downright sexy Nudist Beach Nonon is. I probably have enough perverse sexual lust for her to fill the entire Naked Sol. As I needed any further proof that big boobs aren't everything. ;3

I still can't believe that Mataro didn't ONCE hit on her or make a perverted comment. XD

**Updated: **3-30-14

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


	3. Manxome Mohican

**Kiss a Kiss  
**

A_ Kill la Kill _fluffshot (?) collection

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

Ryuko blushed, leaning against that hard, firm chest. A musky fragrance filled her nostrils, burying her head in a buzz of pleasantly warm and tingly sensations.

"D-don't take this the wrong way, now, you exhibitionist weirdo..." she mumbled intransigently, wrapping her arms idly around that solid, muscular frame. "...you mohawk creepazoid..."

Tsumugu was blushing as deeply as Ryuko, keeping his gaze fixedly away from the lass.

"I won't," he said gruffly. "Not like it means anything." His body glistened with sweat, pearlescent beads rolling down a barrel chest and a six-pack abdomen. His shoulders heaved and trembled, his naked pectorals rising and falling with every deep and labored breath.

"Yeah, that's right..." said Ryuko quietly, staring fixedly off into space. She could hear the man's heartbeat pounding against his ribs. Her own skin was rosy and flushed, slicked and sweaty with the salty fruits of an arduous workout. Her slim, compact frame was leaning in repose against the large, musclebound figure of Kinagase Tsumugu.

"We're just... taking a breather between exercises..." said Tsumugu, panting a little bit from the exertion of pushing his body to keep up with the half-human, half-clothing, all-badass slip of a lass that was Ryuko Matoi.

"Yeah," said Ryuko, smiling wryly. Her cheeks got a little ruddier, and she nuzzled her face a bit more into the side of Tsumugu's bosom. "That's all."

She did not protest as Kinagase moved one of his long, powerful arms to wrap around her shoulder. Nor when he pulled her in closer, to place her head at the crook of his neck.

Ryuko didn't mind being held so protectively – not even though she _was_ the stronger one, out of the two of them.

It was a nice gesture. Comforting and warm.

_Cozy_.

Ryuko dozed off in Tsumugu's arms. He did not protest this.

He simply smiled, and held her that much closer.

* * *

A/N: And this one is much more straightforward fluffy. :3

(I had originally intended to make this one Ryuko x Aikuro, but somehow Tsumugu sneaked his way in)

**Updated: **3-30-14

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


	4. Purest Duty

**Kiss a Kiss  
**

A_ Kill la Kill _fluffshot (?) collection

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

"It fits you beautifully, milady."

Satsuki Kiryuin frowned the slightest bit, dressed in a flowing white dress. She looked into the corner of the tall, silver mirror before her, seeing the effete, bespectacled president of the sewing club standing behind her.

She felt strangely conscious of how _low_ the neckline dipped.

"No," she said slowly, feeling the most inexplicable warmth in her cheeks. "This won't do. This won't do at all."

Satsuki watched the mirror shrewdly, sharp eyes seeing how Iori's face fell ever so minutely at her words. She frowned a tiny bit more, wondering why that displeased her so, and why she felt this strange tightness in her chest at the thought of turning to face the young man directly.

"...my apologies, Lady Satsuki," said Iori, bowing low.

Idly, the student council president briefly wondered what, precisely, he was apologizing _for_.

"No need, Iori," she said nonetheless, still not facing him, still feeling that strange hot tingling in her belly. "The dress is fine. It is who do not fit it."

Iori immediately looked up, confused, perplexed. His brow was furrowed, his lips drawn into a thin line.

"Lady Satsuki?" he said uncertainly. "What do you...?"

"Unzip me," said Satsuki sternly, almost sharply. She closed her eyes to steady her breathing, meditating on the peculiarly rapid pace of her heartbeat, the singularly incomprehensible twisting of her stomach.

She heard Iori gulp. She could almost envision the scarlet dusting of a blush across his fair, slender cheeks.

The distinctive sound of the minuscule metal grips being reversed, the subtle tug of the dress at her shoulders as the zipper was pulled down. Satsuki's heartbeat inexplicably quickened, and she wondered for the smallest fraction of a second whether her face would not burst into flame from this sudden heat.

Of course she banished those thoughts instantly, condemning them as both frivolous and preposterous.

But still, she could not help wondering at how weak her knees felt, as the zipper neared the small of her back, or at how her hands trembled the faintest degree under the slightest accidental brush of Iori's distinctively calloused fingertips against her soft, smooth, ivory skin. Goosebumps arose where he touched her, likely without even realizing it, and shivers shot up through Satsuki's spine.

She gave no vocalization to these strange feelings going through her body, the curiously warm and fuzzy impressions of the vaguest things drifting just beyond her mind's grasp. She longed to clutch these thoughts in her fingers, hold them fast for close and thorough examination.

Satsuki's heart hammered against her ribcage, and she felt the smooth, luxuriant silk of her dress slide down her skin, falling away from her body to pool like quicksilver at her feet.

Her eyes snapped open.

In the mirror she saw her nakedness, and her husband behind her.

Iori Kiryuin smiled lovingly at his lady, and his wife.

Satsuki found this expression to be most curiously contagious.

* * *

A/N: And here's one last one, at least for today. Probably.

I do have work, and plenty of other stories that I should _really_ be working on. XD

**Updated: **3-30-14

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


	5. Serpentine Shrinkage

**Kiss a Kiss  
**

A_ Kill la Kill _fluffshot (?) collection

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

In the wild, it is not uncommon for snakes to prey upon small primates. Indeed, tree-dwelling simians have long had to be wary of serpents sneaking up into their beds, biting them in their sleep with poisonous fang, or suffocating them with a crushing embrace.

It is not for no reason that humans, generally speaking, have an instinctive leeriness towards snakes. Those who learn to avoid predators are the ones who will survive to reproduce. That is natural. That is logical.

That is survival of the fittest.

But, unfortunately for Uzu Sanageyama, the chairman of the athletic committee was the sort of person who never learned. Not when it wasn't a matter of combat.

"So _tiny_," teased Jakuzure bitingly, her rosy eyes twinkling mischievously as they were raked up and down the monkey's naked frame.

Sanageyama blushed an interesting shade of maroon.

"I was in the pool!" he insisted defensively, covering himself with his hands.

That _unfairly _cute viper crinkled her eyes and curled her lips into a femininely wicked grin.

"Ufufu..." she snickered, her voice condescending in tone. "Whatever you say, pygmy marmoset."

A vein bulged in the teen's forehead.

"That's just fine!" he snapped. "A pygmy marmoset for a scrawny threadsnake! That's a perfect match."

Nonon rolled her eyes.

"In your _dreams_, maybe," she scoffed, turning her head away to conceal the faintest of blushes.

Uzu's face also reddened, seeing that Nonon's web belt was off-center.

Now he wasn't a _pygmy_ marmoset anymore.

* * *

A/N: Hehe, I have a naturally perverted sense of humor. And, according to Mako, Sanageyama apparently doesn't have a whole lot going on below the belt. XDDD

**Updated: **3-31-14

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


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